Real Talk: You're Only Hurting Yourself by Ignoring Your Issues

Yep!! Your girl woke up today and chose VIOLENCE!

Not really. Keep reading. 💛

We are masterful at building up some walls. Aren’t we?! And those walls served you for a while, right? I know mine did. I lost My mom when I was 26, 11 months before my first child was born. My heart deep-dove into motherhood and helped me settle after losing my main cheerleader and the literal voice of all of today’s self-love affirmations, my mom.

I NEEDED that time to NOT fully face that loss.

But tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I used to be a HOT…fiery, emotional mess around her birthday, Christmas, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. She was a phenomenal single mom and trying to honor my father in her absence made me hecka resentful!

I know it’s not easy facing your problems head-on. Shoot, sometimes it's easier to just sweep 'em under the rug and keep it movin'. But here's the real deal: THAT is what is holding you back. At some point, we gotta face the stuff that we’d rather ignore. And that's why I wanna talk to you today about the real weakness that so many of us have:

refusing to face our issues.

So go with me for a sec. I figured 3 was short enough to keep you attention!

Here are three reasons why not dealing with your stuff is only gonna hurt you more:

1. Your dreams will remain out of reach.

I know you are like, “Dis chick is nuts! I have built this business….closed that deal…cleared 6-figures.” And I know you have. But have you ever done something freakin AMAZING and the buzz just fizzled or wasn’t quite as WOW! as you expected it to be? It’s you. Your heart isn’t settled. So would you say you really achieved your dream? Or was it a goal that you THOUGHT would make a difference and it didn’t? Your dreams don’t feel the same when you're too busy pretending everything's all good. You gotta get real with yourself and acknowledge what's really going on so you can start taking steps towards making things better.

2. Are you popping Lexapro? Or smoking cannabis?!

Let's keep it 100: pretending like everything's okay when it's not is exhausting. The turmoil of lying to yourself about being FAKE FINE makes us have internal arguments with ourselves.

“I’m fine!”

“But I’m not fine! That wasn’t fair!”

“But I’m overreacting…aren’t I?”

“No. I’m pissed but I don’t want him to get mad at me. So suck it up and keep it moving.”

Please tell me I am not the only one who has had conversations like that in my own head!!

But then you add on one issue after another, one microagressions after another, one dismissal after another and you feel like you are about to blow and no one understands why…including you. It’s like you're carrying around a heavy backpack full of micro traumas all day, every day. But if you face those issues head-on, you can start to lighten that load and actually feel some relief.

Medications can be life-altering and a huge blessing. No shade at all! But they are way more effective when you lightening your mental load rather than magnifying the problem and covering it up with a new dosage. I coach clients to support their mental and spiritual health with authenticity with themselves and others.

3. It's stopping you from being your best self.

You deserve to be happy and fulfilled, sis. What does that even look like though? So many of our moms were in GRIND and SURVIVE mode that we didn’t see them actually living their best life. For those who did, it was often after a divorce that frees her heart to love herself for REAL…sometimes for the first time.

After my father left, my mom started where red ALL. The. Time! I didn’t understand it until I was much older but it was her favorite color, and I think she was doing the “responsible” things that were expected of her as a wife, but stifling herself in the process. Their wedding was navy freakin blue! She HATED navy blue. But once she was in a season of feeling free, she found her favorite color and plastered red and pink all over our lives! LOL!! Then she got a tattoo…followed by 5 more. She was learning to live life on her terms, but it took a divorce to go there.

My journey was a little different. My #HolyHotHead self started painting walls of our house AQUA, my favorite color, while my husband was at work. I started getting my hair done. I started writing. I changed my homeschool style to meet MY needs better.

But before all of that…

I turned my focus inward. God and I went to work on the inside with therapists, support groups, journaling, and lots of music.

I learned how to love ME.

I learned how to love my husband better.

I learned how to love my children better.

I faced my fears and my past, and I found ME!

The version of me that exists today is who I always dreamt of being. But I had to work for her to come out. And the same is true for you. You won't be able to show up as your best self in your relationships, your career, or even just in your own life. That's just not fair to you.

So listen, I know it isn’t easy to go THERE. But trust me when I say that it's worth it.

And you don't have to do it alone.

At ALL MADE WELL, we've got coaches who can help you work through your stuff and start living your best life. Don't be afraid to reach out, sis. We got you.

Let’s set up a complimentary virtual coffee date TODAY, and start tackling those issues together.