I remember going to the park one day with our family and I saw a woman who had this gorgeous tattoo going down her leg. “Wow!! That’s gorgeous!” and as soon as that benign thought popped into my mind, the next thought shattered my heart all over again. “She’s probably the kind of woman he stares at online and imagines f***ing when he’s stuck with you.” I was startled and instantly nauseated. I don’t even know if I was coherent if someone was talking to me. It felt like time froze just long enough for me to really settle in how much that thought hurt. I don’t swear. For about 15 years, I didn’t even think profanity. I was attending an ultra-conservative, traditional church that focused heavily on silencing and stuffing emotions more than actually healing them. (Continue reading…)