UnHEAL-ing People Shouldn’t Get A VOTE.

The 2024 election is an epic shitstorm. And I think it’s because people who can’t SEE the impact of their experiences don’t realize that they are still living in the trauma. And ensuring that everyone who encounters them does too.

I have coached victims of sexual assault and many, years after it occurred, still blame themselves.

“I shouldn’t have gone there.”

“I shouldn’t have worn that.”

“How did I miss the red flags?”

I went through that season as I was resisting the change our marriage needed on the other side of D-day, the day I learned of my husband’s struggle with sex addiction. Decades in a male headship church made me believe that I should have known or done something to be a better wife.

So when I see people, women especially, who are not up in arms about the character of the people the Republicans support, I see wounded people that have not healed from traumas they want to ignore. They haven’t fully embraced how astronomically f’ed up their experience was or wrestled with their own emotions about it. So instead, you pretend like it’s not bothering you and then minimizing the experience of others who choose to call it out as wrong.

And in spite of all that it is costing you or us as a nation, MOST PEOPLE REFUSE TO DEAL WITH THEIR JUNK!!

I get it. It’s not easy and who really would WANT to face their past? And of course, it doesn’t have to be sexual assault.

It can be a seemingly benign comment that told “little you” that you were LESS.

Maybe from a man or woman you respected. A parent. An uncle. Your pastor. A teacher.

They spoke something over you and their “position” made you BELIEVE them.

The pressure to conform and the desire to be loved made you accept that you didn’t belong on the same LEVEL as them. You accepted that you didn’t deserve the same level of care or respect. Your heart began to AGREE with them, but not because there was anything wrong with you.

You agreed simply because NO ONE said anything fucking DIFFERENT!

This is how this toxic mess plays out:

We live in a society that constantly tells Black people that we are LESS right down to watch men and women who look like us and our cousins massacred by police with no consequence. Do what happens? We are conditioned to not call out bullshit racist behavior. We tell ourselves that we are overreacting and we stay quiet about it. We absorb their beliefs about us and it either becomes internalized racism, coswitching (“pick me” syndrome), or completely justified rage that manifested as self-harm (community violence and drug addiction to cope).

We live in a society that tells women that we don’t deserve to be on the same platform as men. And that our presence is a THREAT to his inherent god-aligned superiority. (WTF?!) So we don’t call out all the sexism bullshit that we experience. We tell ourselves to just ignore it and move on because it’s so fucking constant! We would be “whining” all the time. So we stuff it. “Complaining about it isn’t gonna change anything. HR is his fucking cousin!” Or we blame ourselves for the horrific things we’ve endured. (It was not your fault. It was never your fault. At all.)

We live in a society where we need LAWS to protect disabled people but my neurodivergent kids are bullied every fucking day, and I’m expected to not approach their toxic af parents…who probably voted for that moron while making fun of disabled people on the fucking campaign trail!

What is wrong with the world?!

This post is absolutely a rant, but isn’t that warranted?! As a neurodivergent, Black woman and a survivor of toxic church culture with my faith intact, my perspective is different than many. I see a broader view of the injustices and the trickle down consequences more clearly and this shit is pissing me off.

I played by all of the rules set in front of me and it nearly killed me spiritually, emotionally, and in terms of my health, physically too.

I chose to heal because my wounds were impacting my ability to parent from health and wholeness. But now I see that there are HUGE systemic wounds that need to be addressed.

If you resist your own healing:

You are taking your wounds into ballot boxes.

You are taking your wounds into your jobs.

You are speaking out of your wounds to create wounds in your children.

Your wounds (and your spouse’s) are destroying your marriage.

Pastors are preaching out of their wounds.

Teachers are teaching out of their wounds.

Fucking doctors are treating and not treating ACTUAL wounds out of their unHEALed emotional wounds. Maternal care sucks for Black women and that’s why I am a DOULA.

So if you refuse to deal with your junk, you can’t be mad at the other side for not dealing with theirs. This is why our country stays toxic. Our foundation is horrific and they refuse to deal with what’s in them for the same reasons you refuse to deal with what’s in you.

Why?! Because HEALING is fucking work and the journey unpredictable.

But look at what we have after refusing to do it!!

I am a Spiritual Recovery Coach. I work with people who don’t want to allow their wounds to destroy everything around them anymore. I run fitness groups because this impacts your health. www.MeMadeWell.com

I serve expecting mothers because THEIR mess impacts OUR birth experiences and that is not your fight during labor and delivery! www.TheWalkingDoula.com

I have several journals to help you begin peeling back the layers of what your heart whispers to you when no one is around to refute it. www.iAmWorthyAF.com

And for the brave and rare few willing to put their faith to the test, I partner with pastors to bring an unprecedented revival-level journey to the communities they serve. www.ChurchMadeWell.com

Spiritual Recovery is not optional. Yeshua’s WHOLE MINISTRY was HEALING. And healing the body was the easy part. He only did that as a SIGN of what He was doing and capable of on the inside! But like He asked the lane man,

“Do you WANT to be MADE WELL?”

Because we need to have the clarity to see ourselves, the honesty to see our motives, and the ability to receive what God is communicating to us and THINK. The world needs Yeshua followers who can see the world clearly and move strategically.

#holyhothead #whyMeMW #churchrecovery #imthatcoach

It’s time to WAKE UP.